Solutions

This is not about the clue to solve your crossword or sudoku puzzle.

It’s about what you need to tweak in order to get the result that you are looking for. Think of a muscle that you have worked hard, so much so that it is stretched to the max and suddenly pings! It cannot cope with the strain.

If we reach too far we put ourselves out of balance and fall over. Remember Weebles? – the tag like was “Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down”. Do you bounce back or are you floored?

Sometime toppling over happens to most people, but it’s scary and shocking when it does. It happens because we overcommit and are in too much of a rush.

It comes about because we are overloaded, frazzled, maxed out and the scales just tip the wrong way. Stress plays a big part. The reason it hasn’t worked may be because we need to up-skill or get somebody else to help us with the task in hand. Imagine – it can be a huge relief when you realize it does not have to be YOU all the time.

But if it is up to you, then how do you regroup once you have rested that “overstretched muscle” that collapsed on you.

Ever heard of mindfulness? – It’s the art of being able to calm the mind and relax. You might be surprised to learn, it’s a skill anyone can acquire..

Getting your head in a different space is often all that it takes. That and stepping away from the relentless reaching for something. Get away from it for a bit, do something relaxing – you’ll find that is the time when our subconscious comes up with the most amazing solutions, without you having to make a huge effort after all

At school exam time I remember being told that if you open the paper and find your can’t answer the first question, move on and don’t spend any time dwelling on it. Come back at the end and hey presto, invariably the subconscious has come up with the solution – it just needed some time.

This works for us as adults too. Staring at a problem does not fix it. The mature, wise person knows when to walk away. Don’t stress about not having the answer. Go and do something more interesting instead so that the mind and body can relax.

I would recommend talking to somebody about it. Actually hearing yourself talk out loud about what’s out of reach is terrific. You often hear yourself give the solution. Listening is key, but sometimes we need someone to help us hear what we are really saying.

I can help you to find your own solution.

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P.S.

If you want to explore mindfulness more then I would recommend the book by Jon Kabat Zinn – The Mindfulness Way through Depression, don’t worry about the title. It’s a great book that comes with a DVD with lovely short exercises for you to practice.